Saturday, October 13, 2012

Slingshotting around the Sun

As any visitors may note, I update this thing once in a Blue Moon. That is to say, I go on my random webcomic kick when I'm not working, playing videogames or binge reading, and this doesn't happen as often as it probably should for me to actually post anything with any case of regularity.
Case in point, I started the previous review of Misfile nearly three months ago, and I haven't worked on it untill today when I sat down and wrote the rest of it.

This is my schedule, Piro has nothing on this shit.

Anyway, on to bone picking flavor of the day. And today that flavor is Girls with Slingshots

This is one of those slightly awkward comics for me to really rip into. Because really, that's probably my entire overall experience with this comic. Awkward. Awkward. Awkward? You don't say. You can't decide if you're doing wacky, or you're doing slice of life, or you're doing a sex comic... Ok?... I suppose there could be worse offenders (Hello ElGoonish Shive) but in all honesty? Awkward. Bland.

Which is a pity because the art is better than most, the style grows over time, and to be fair it's not an unnatractive style. Art-wise there is nothing particularly wrong with the comic per-se however you're left with that general feeling that you have an uneaten pizza downstairs in the kitchen, and you should probably go eat it. Sorry, got a little bit off-topic there. You're left with the feeling that the artist really isn't pushing themselves. They have a solid understanding, and that's about where it ends. Honestly, the art style that the comic is in currently is no better than what it began with, and that's in itself somewhat depressing.

It has the soapbox as many slice of life comics do, but seriously lacks the charm or progression of say, Crap I Drew on My Lunch Break, and even Devil's Panties Shows more artistic improvement.

Plotwise, it's a goddamn soapbox, with poorly rationalized characters, and it completely does not work as a slice of life comic, because of the frankly one-dimentional characters. Congratulations, your main character's main characteristic is that she hasn't been laid. Or the fetish-store worker/domme secretely wants to be a librarian.

The whole thing feels very juvenile. Really, this is how you imagine adults are when you are 16 and "edgy."

Oh well.


Thursday, October 11, 2012

A Misfiled Review

Haha get it? I'm going to be talking about Misfile today.

Misfile and I have a bit of an odd relationship. It's a comic I actually read, and it's firmly labeled under my category of guilty pleasure. The cliffnotes version of the plot is as follows: due to a mishap in heaven, a stoner angel gets booted out, because of his mishap a person loses two years of their life and an antisocial racing nerd gets turned into a girl. Hijinks ensue.

Hijins ensue indeed. I sort of lost track of the plot sometime around the time that the entire thing started turning into a very awkward relationship comic and not so much about the whole car racing thing.

Problems with the comic are as follows; the art hasn't visibly improved since, oh I don't know, the damn thing started. Yes, style, and all that. But you're seriously pulling a Dobson. The plot also went into some severely nonsensical territory which just makes it sort of... Yeah. I don't even know how to describe it, aside from referencing Megatokyo and leaving that at that. Shounen-izing your plot is good and all, but please have something to back it up, especially when you don't write that part very well.

Overall, it's a pity. The author from what I know of them, does appreciate cars, and nerds out about a few things that I nerd out. We had this thing going on, (at risk of me sounding like Mabel of Gravity Falls.) I would have given it a pass.

Except I don't.

Your art is terrible, and your writing is worse. Deal. With. It.

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Tearing Down some Epic Freshness

Welcome to another edition of YWSS.

Firstly, let's take care of some business.

An editorial correction: In my previous asshole tearing, I incorrectly referred to Humon, the author of Hel... excuse me, Scandinavia and the World, as "him." I do apologize for this oversight, and while the correct pronoun for her is "she", she's still, as the Something Awful unregistered wordfilter so eloquently puts it "A rear end in a top hat." Except without the top hat. More of "A rear and in a rear end" so to speak. A reverse human centipede.

Secondly, I recently became aware of Fresh Epics, which is what both SATW as well as Dobson's oh-so-seminal SYAC gets published. Now I won't say anything about the fellow that runs the site, no matter what dirt people might dig up on him, he seems like a well-intentioned if misguided fellow.

But let's get through the contents of the general Fresh Epics, and tear them a new asshole. Or at least see what they are worth, shall we?

Scandinavia and the World - We've talked about this at length. No need to repeat myself here.

Romantically Apocalyptic - The first comic under Fresh Epics which isn't crap. Do you remember Gone with the Blastwave? Apocalyptic gives off very strong vibes of Blastwave. But you know what, there isn't anything wrong with it. The artist(s) really does make an effort to deliver a very stylish and visually appealing comic, and succeeds smashingly. The writing, while not particularly outstanding, is solid and engaging, and there are a number of interesting ideas peppered throughout the comic. And it's not particularly long. Read it.

So You're a Cartoonist - Dobson. And I refuse to sully my precious reviewer integrity. Actually more people have written about Dobson, his work, etc, at great length, and I have nothing more to add except that he's a hack of the lowest order.

Stupid Fox - The second comic from the Fresh Epics label which is actually downright awesome. And no matter what anybody may tell you, it's not about furries. Simplistic, quick, cute, doesn't overstay its welcome. Clocking in at about 70 pages, it's a quick read, and most of it is completely textless, it perfects the silent art form, and is genuinly funny, and certain strips will tug at your heartstrings like few comics will. Congratulations Emily, you've created a work of art that will emotionally touch people. I wish you and your comic the best.

Acero Tiburon - Poor Animeish art, though there are signs that the author is trying to improve. The writing is poor. It's fairly hard to actively hate Acero Tiburon though. It has that feel of a webcomic stuck in the early 2000s, back when the art of webcomicry was relatively young and people were just getting into it. Suffers fairly hard from LOLMONKEYCHEESE random humor which is hard to justify these days. Other comics have done it before and other comics have done it better. Honestly, it offers nothing original which is probably the worst thing about it.

Neils - If Scandinavia and the World didn't prove that Humon was an ignorant racist piece of shit, then this certainly at minimum upholds this notion. Features rape as a joke and racism. Also Humon can't draw a gun to save her life, which leads me to the thought that she probably doesn't actually do much of research on anything. Is fairly disturbing.

Manala Next Door - Humon does mythology. Had the potential to be her least offensive work, but no Humon is off on her poorly researched mythological interactions. Mythological Hetalia Yay! (It's pretty terrible).

Boggart - Dadaist humor with a fat cat. Much better than I make it sound. The third (and last) of the Fresh Epics line to not suck. It might not be everybody's cup of tea, (it really doesn't do much for me), but I can see how it's good, and to the right audience would be quite appealing.

Alex Ze Pirate - Dobson.

Fresh Epics, aside from having a terrible name also has one thing going for it. The good comics? They are good. But the bad comics? They're terrible. And the bland? They are bland to an extent that makes Garfield look like a work of exciting ballet. If you can stomach ignoring Dobson and Humon, there's a few good things in there. Boggart and Romantically Apocalyptic at minimum deserve a skim through. Stupidfox is just an awesome comic. Everything else though? Pass.

I really do hope that the good webcomic authors of this group form up into their own group and leave Fresh Epics behind. There's quality to be hand, and you don't need to associate with terrible artists or people to get your name out there.

Besides, this is 2012. Why the FUCK do most of these comics not have a "First" button? Whoever coded these sites, (probably the owner of FE) is a lazy sonovabitch.

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

LINK ME and note.

Send me bad webcomics.

I won't cover the standard webcomic hate blog fare of CAD/Megatokyo/Dominic Deegan/SYAC. With the exception of MT, SA's comic forums covers that pretty well, and the assorted other blogs and wikis have said things on many of those subjects much more eloquently than I could have.

Suffice to say, Mookie is a hack and a motherfucking creep IRL, Dobson is a pretentious Twat, B^UCkley: LOSS.JPG LOL, and Pyro is a whiny babby.

Now link me webcomics.

Monday, May 14, 2012

Scandinavia... Hetalia.

You (the creator) are a terrible potentially racist piece of shit that overuses the >< emoticon like it's the fucking 90s, you worship at the altar of line smoothing and selective stereotypes.

Congratulations, you are Hetalia. But worse. And you know what? I'll give Hetalia a pass a little bit more because it's drawn by some Japanese dude. History is sort of fucked up in Japan, and they have this national pride thing going where they actively deny bits of history and are nationalistic about it. That's fine, that's their schtick. The author of Hetalia might have no clue what the fuck he's writing about. He gets to be ignorant, I get to annoy Hetalia fans at anime cons by ripping them new historical assholes during a panel. We both win.

This is however completely irredeemable. The creator isn't just ignorant, but is willfully ignorant with a side of having his head stuck up so far up his own ass that he can't even see his own colon anymore.

I tried to read through this. I really tried. My brain hurt. Because you write. The same. Three. Jokes. Over. And. Over. Again. This could have been over in 20 pages. Hell, it would have worked in 20 pages. It might have been funny in 20 pages. But you decided to drag it out. So Fuck. You.

Go Get a Room...Ie.

I hope you can stand the terrible mishmash of art that cribs from both Fanboys (admittedly never liked that style, but dude, the artist there knows how to improve) and Gunnekrigg Court (which is kind of awesome). I hope you can stand the author/artist being an incessant prat. I hope you can stand somebody saying "You know what would make Gunnekkrigg Court better? SEX." No. Fuck you. It doesn't.

I might not be being completely fair here, but seriously, this is what this seems like. And if it quacks like a duck, well, you know the rest.

Actually, let me rephrase that. I'm not being completely fair at all. You're not cribbing Gunnekkrigg Court, you're cribbing the fairly recent trend in European animation, anime-ing things up a bit. You know, you seem like you could be a better artist from your sketches. Hell, that bit you did with the hunter christmas story? That wasn't too bad.

For the sake of everything, find a writer, stop writing the same "LOL SEX" joke over and over again, and develop your characters further than a paper plate. Except you won't. Because you're terrible.


You know, what, fuck it. I have a bone to pick, I'm a shitty writer, but your webcomic is still worse than my writing.